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Qwackers Jokes About Ducks…

A Positive Confit of Duck Jokes For Your Xmas Crackers

I’m really sorry but I have the habit of liking cracker jokes or jokes of a similarly poor standard. It’s why I get on with children!

I just found one such joke in a pair of jeans’ pocket which had survived the wash. I must have been keeping it to entertain casual readers of the blog posts on this site. So I decided to post the joke (see below #1)  and will add as many duck related jokes as possible. It’s my new mission.

So the challenge is to find more jokes that don’t just have “quack” as a pin in them ~ though I suspect that most do…

Duck Joke 1

Q: Why don’t ducks tell jokes while they are flying? A: Because it would quack them up! (Is that bad or what? It’s not even well constructed.)

Duck Joke 2

A duck goes into the chemist and asks if they have any lip salve. When the assistant says Yes and that It’s £2, the duck says “OK, please put it on my bill”. (Better?)

 UPDATE: There are lots of duck jokes about and 50% are qwackers based.  35% are “bill” based. 10% are “fowl”. One or two have “duck!” (as in bend down quick) like the old Muppets joke (“Chicken!”) and the rest are adapts of other animal jokes where you can substitute a duck. Some of these will follow… or not…


  1. Love A Duck says:

    Thank you Joe, though the cracking/quacking up pun is based on laughing at the joke – so it’s 50-50 in my mind as to which has a more relevant pun. Both are still awful!

  2. joebananas says:

    Duck Joke 1 can be improved: Why don’t ducks fly upside down? Because they would quack up.

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